Nobody Expects!
by ilfreitas
Summary: When Spain burst into the G8, America was expecting Germany to yell at him, not to England to...react like that! Why didn't he stop? Why was France laughing creepily and Japan with a camera? Why didn't England stop? USUK One-Shot /Monty Python reference/


Disclaimer: I'm pretty sure I don't own a thing. Could be wrong, thought.

**Nobody Expects…!**

It was a normal G8 meeting, as normal _that_ could be among the country personifications.

England had suggested again the removal of Russia, and now Russia was smiling creepily at him.

"Ah, I disagree with _Angleterre_." France said, "We should replace Russia…"

"That's what I said, you frog!"

"With Spain."

"Spain? Nobody expects Spain-"

In that moment, the door burst open and Spain walked in.

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" he crossed his arms and smirked.

Everyone stared in silence at him.

Then…

England got into a fit of giggles and bended himself, with his head on the table.

"England?" America asked, concerned. "What have you done?" he asked Spain.

"In Soviet Russia, the Spanish Inquisition doesn't expect YOU." Russia said.

That made America laugh, but not as much as England, who now even had tears in his eyes.

"England, control yourself!" Germany demanded "What are you doing here, Spain?"

"France had told me that I could come to the meetings! And how could I miss a chance to see my lovely Romano…" Spain walked to the Italy brothers' direction, with his arms open for a hug.

"Don't come close, you tomato bastard!"

"Ve~, Spain~! You're so nice to brother~!"

"God damn it, can someone tell what's wrong with England? He's _laughing_!" America shook the British "Come on, England, that's not funny!"

"Ahah…_not funny_?" England shoulders shook with laugher and he cleaned some tears "ahahah…the S-Spanish Inquisition…! Oh Merlin*…"

"Spain?" America turned to him, still holding England's shoulders.

"Ahahah…!" England kept laughing.

"Why doesn't he stop!"

"Ah, bravo, _Espagne_, you found _Angleterre_'s weakness." France clapped "The British Humour. Besides dear _Amérique_, _bien sûr_."

"Uh? British Humor?" America blinked.

"Ihihih…ahah..._The Spanish-!_ Ahahah!"

Spain sat – next to Romano – and looked at England.

"Still, I wasn't expecting _this _reaction from him…"

"Make him stop!" America started to bit his fingernails.

"Ahahah…"

"England!" Germany, who had been quiet since Spain answered him, couldn't gold it any longer "We're in the middle of a meeting!"

"S-Sorry! I…ahha…I'll stop. I'm okay." England paused and took a deep breath "I'm okay."

He stood without moving, with everyone staring at him.

"Bahahaha… oh God, I can't stop laughing…ahaha…_The Spanish Inquisition_…!"

"Can't someone _do_ something!" America asked.

"I'm afraid that only you can do that, _Amérique_."

"Why me?"

"Well, I agree with France-san." Japan spoke for the first time "You and England-san clearly have some…uh…unresolved tension." Japan slowly turned his camera on and pointed at the two English speaking nations, hiding it from their view.

America blushed. Unresolved tension? He looked at the older nation, who was holding on to him for support and his heart skipped a beat.

"Ahahahahah…!"

"You don't mean…"

"Ohohoh, we must certainly do!" France grinned and winked.

"Eh, I don't think-"

"Just hurry up! We're still on a meeting!" Germany (unintentionally) interrupted Canada.

"I don't-" he tried again.

"Who are you?" Kumajiro asked.

"I'm Canada, Kimira."

America looked around.

Spain was trying to kiss Romano; Italy was clingy on Germany (who was frowning at England and America); France and Japan were looking at him too; and Russia was trying to convince…some guy to become one with him.

America tried to talk to England.

Then shook him again.

Then slap him, but he wasn't able to do it.

He sighed and looked once more at the other nation.

England's smile was so pretty…and his laugh was beautiful…

Oh, America loved when England laughed, he really did, just like he loved that country.

Except that now he was almost hysterical.

And that really, really creeped America out.

He looked around again, to see if anyone was looking at them.

The only difference was that suddenly France and Japan had turned their faces, looking at something and France whistling.

America took a deep breath and lowered his face next to England's.

"Ahaha- mmph" England was forced to stop when America's lips connected with his.

America was so into the kiss when England kissed him back that he didn't noticed the flash of Japan's camera.

He took his hands out of England's shoulders, one to his hair and the other to his waist.

England grabbed the American's jacket to pull him closer and bit his lower lip, smirking and demanding his tongue into his mouth.

"E-England…" America felt England's hand slowly making his way down his torso.

"Nngh, America…" he said as America unconsciously rocked his hips into his.

"Ohohoh!" France licked his lips and looked at them eagerly.

"Stop snogging!" Germany slammed his fist on the conference table. "We're on a meeting!"

"Ve~, Germany, don't be mean~!"

They pulled apart, looking at each other with their lips almost touching, feeling each other's breaths and eyes dazzled.

"England…" he put the hand that was on his hair on England's waist.

"America, I…" England cupped his face.

"Yes…?" he smiled.

Then England looked over his shoulder and saw…

"Pfff, Spanish Inquisition!" he started laughing again.

America let his head fall on the other's shoulder.

He had _not_ been expecting that.

00000

*-yes, it a Harry Potter expression. It's _England _we're talking about!

**I suddenly remembered the Spanish Inquisition and couldn't help but to write this xD**

**Now, very important: if you didn't get the 'Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!', then go watch Monty Python. Like, now.**

**It's one of the best British humour series EVER, along with Black Adder. (if you don't know this one too, then oh-god-what's-wrong-with-you-go-watch-it-NoW, because it's AWESOME. The main characters are the actor who do HOUSE and . Except that here Bean is the serious guy and House the goofy. (how can you NOT want to watch that?)**

**Ahem. So, I kind of grew up with Disney movies and British Humour… not my fault,**** ya****?**

**(And, like, of course England would be laughing in the whole fic, he's **_**England**_**! Who else would love British humour like him?)**


End file.
